Where I Belong
by Merula
Summary: AU, OOC, Songfic 1x2. Heero realizes where he needs to be. oneshot.
1. Heero's side

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. "She's So High" is by Kurt Nilsen. Uh, sap, OOC warnings apply.

NEW: As per FFnet requirements song has been removed.

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I turned on the radio in the rental car as I drove away from the shuttle port. I could've called Duo to come and meet me, but I wanted to surprise him.

I had been waiting for this for a long time. I was finally free. I rolled down the windows and let the breeze cool down the hot interior of the car. I could only hope that Duo would be happy to see me.

He'd bounced around after the war ended, finally ending up in a tiny town way up in the mountains. Quatre said that he was a virtual hermit up there.

I was glad. It meant that he was alone. That he hadn't found anyone else. That I had a chance to claim him again.

The radio played softly in the background as I thought about what had finally let me go back to Duo.

Relena had been my main concern after the war ended. She was in a precarious position with so many people trying to snatch power. This fragile young girl, with such a powerful personality held the fate of the world in her hands. I needed to help her the best I could.

I belonged by her side, protecting her from those who wanted to see her fall. And there had been quite a few. There had been so many close calls that first year. And then things seemed to calm down. Less attacks, less threats, less danger. Relena had gained a firm control over the government with the support of Lady Une and the Preventers.

Last night we had been at one of Relena's charity functions. I was leaning against the wall, watching as Relena danced with one dignitary after another. She had grown and matured, turned into a lovely woman. I could see why the men flocked around her.

I was glad my bodyguard duties kept me off the dance floor and away from the daunting array of silverware. I knew how to dance, knew what fork went with what, but I hated all of it. This wasn't a place that I felt comfortable. All of this seemed pointless to me. I looked over and met Wufei's eyes where he stood on the opposite wall. The Preventers always supplemented Relena's security staff, and several of her assistants and clerks also doubled as bodyguards, though those skills were called into play less and less lately.

I let my gaze sweep around the room and caught sight of Dorothy Catalonia. She was Relena's personal assistant, and the last assassin- had it really been that long ago?- had ended up on the end of her knife.

I realized suddenly that I wasn't needed anymore. It was a dizzying feeling.

"Heero?" Relena had managed to get away from her dance partners. "You're smiling. Having a good time for a change?"

"I was thinking it was time for me to move on," I told her. "You have plenty of protectors. You don't need me now."

I was surprised to see tears rise in her eyes. "But Heero," she reached out and put a hand on my sleeve. "I always need you." I blinked at her. What was she saying? "I love you."

Oh no. I cursed at myself for being an idiot. I should've seen this. Why hadn't I? Because I hadn't expected it. I had never considered myself on Relena's level. She was a princess. I was a soldier. She was a prominent figure, she'd need someone in that world that could truly share her burdens. I hated this world, she reveled in it.

"You don't love me," I could see her pull herself together, not wanting to make a scene here, another difference between us. What did I care what others thought?

"Not like that." I told her. "I'm sorry, Relena."

"Why not?" She asked and then closed her mouth tightly. My heart ached for her. She hadn't wanted to ask.

"I never even thought to love you that way. You're- too high for me to reach."

"You could reach me if you wanted to," her voice wasn't accusing, simply matter of fact.

"No," I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'll go pack my things and go."

"Where will you go?"

"Duo." I answered without thinking. That's where I wanted to go. Would he want to see me?

Relena closed her eyes and nodded. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips over my cheek. "Tell Duo I said to take good care of you." And she was gone, back on the dance floor, her politician's smile in place.

Duo's home was way out in the middle of nowhere just as Quatre said.

I turned off the engine and went to knock on the front door. Would he be pleased to see me?

The door opened and Duo grinned at me in surprise.

"Heero! What are you doing here?"

"I thought I needed a vacation. Do you mind if I stay with you?"

I saw the happiness rise up in his eyes and couldn't help myself. I reached out and pulled him towards me, claming his mouth with mine. He responded eagerly, as he always had, and I felt my smile increase when I pulled away.

This was where I belonged. I was home.


	2. Duo's side

Disclaimer: Gundam wing is not mine. This is the original 'Where I belong" fic, but I realized after I finished it that it was told from the wrong viewpoint. So, we'll just put it here as a counterpoint.

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I woke up alone. It wasn't an unusual occurrence, or at least it hadn't been. Since Heero had come to stay with me a few months ago, things had changed a bit. I was now used to having a warm body next to me in bed, used to sleeping in a comforting embrace.

I'm still not sure why he came to visit. He said it was a 'vacation', but like I said, he's been here for months. Why would he give up a good job, and … other things, to come stay with me?

I thought about staying where I was until he came back to bed, but I knew my time with Heero was limited. I really didn't want to miss any of it.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I grabbed my pajama pants and pulled them on. The little glowing lights on the clock said that it was just after midnight. Once I left the bedroom I heard the soft sound of the stereo playing, so I padded down the hallway and into my living room.

Okay, so it's more like a living room/kitchen kind of thing. My house isn't that big, but it is all mine and that's what counts. I didn't want or need anything bigger.

Heero was curled up on the couch, looking out the window at the moon. He hadn't turned any of the lights on. He looked over when I stepped into the room and gave me that faint smile of his.

It's the same smile he had on his face when I opened my door and nearly fell over at the shock of seeing him. The same smile he'd had when he'd asked me if he could stay with me for a while. The same one that had lingered on his lips after he'd kissed me breathless when I'd said yes.

I joined him on the sofa. He slid forward a bit so that I could sit behind him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he settled himself between my legs. "Couldn't sleep?" I murmured in his ear.

"I didn't want to wake you." He shivered a bit in my arms.

"You know I don't mind."

"I know." He rested his head on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a bit. I just let myself revel in the feeling of his body against mine. After the war ended I didn't think I'd ever get a chance to have him like this again. He'd gone off to join Relena's security force. I had done a few things, finally settling here. It was remote and away from everything, but I liked it.

I hadn't realized how lonely I'd been, until Heero came.

I knew how lonely I'd be when he left.

Brushing my lips over Heero's ear, I looked at the moon hanging over the trees. It was full and glowing, a storybook moon that turned the pines a silvery color. He shivered in my arms and moved closer.

"So, what were you thinking about, out here by yourself?" I asked, not really wanting to pry, but needing the sound of his voice.

"Relena," he answered quietly, and I wished that I hadn't asked.

"Oh?" I managed, resting my head against the side of his neck, inhaling the warm scent of his body. It might be the last chance I'd have. "She's probably wondering where you are."

"I told her I was going to visit you." Heero replied, matter of factly. "She knows where I am."

But probably not what you've been doing, I added silently.

"Ah," was all I said aloud. We were quiet for a little longer and then I had to ask the question that I had wanted/feared the answer of. "So, when are you going back? I'm sure she misses you."

Heero tried to turn his head to look at me, but I had buried my face in his neck. I wasn't moving. I didn't want to look in his face when he told me that he was going back to her. I didn't want him to see how much he could hurt me.

"Duo?" He said, his voice not so soft. "You're shaking."

"Just cold." I muttered into his neck.

"You're lying." No I wasn't. The thought of Heero leaving made me feel cold. I shook my head. "Duo?" He exerted his strength then, pushing away from me a little and turning in my embrace.

His hand touched the side of my face. "You're upset?" I saw him frown for a moment as he tried to figure out why. Then the frown vanished and I found myself in his tight embrace. "I was hoping you'd let me stay here. I wasn't planning on going back."

What?

"But Relena… you and she… I mean…"

"It's not like that."

"But, I don't understand… You two- all during the war- you were so close- even though you and I…" I closed my mouth. I was babbling. Not a good thing.

Heero's frown had returned. "It's not…" He took a deep breath. "It's…" He pushed me flat down on the couch, pinning me there so that we were eye to eye.

"Look, Relena is special to me." I opened my mouth again, but he cut me off. "But not like you're thinking. She's not like me. Like us. I don't belong in her world."

"But you could if you tried!"

"But I don't want to. I'm a common soldier Duo. She's a Queen- a leader of the world. Our ideal that we strive for."

"You're an ideal too, you know," I told him bitterly. "The ideal soldier."

"Which was fine when the world was at war. But it isn't now. Relena doesn't need me anymore to keep her safe. She's content in her world." He made a faint face. "I wasn't. I hated every minute of it."

"I'm sure she would've made adjustments for you."

"She offered." I had to take a deep breath. Heero bent down and brushed his mouth over mine. "I turned her down."

"What?" He smiled at my surprise.

"I'm afraid that I never really thought about it. Right before I came here, she told me that she thought she was in love with me."

"And what did you say?"

"That I had never even thought of her that way. She's my friend. She's the person that I depend on to keep the world a peaceful place. But I know where I belong, and it wasn't in her world."

"Where do you belong?" He kissed me again.

"Where I've always belonged- with you."


End file.
